


All My Shadows Fade

by amyfortuna



Category: Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Angst, Depressing, F/F, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-02-14
Updated: 2002-02-14
Packaged: 2017-10-29 03:16:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/315213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amyfortuna/pseuds/amyfortuna
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Arwen's Elvish lover has to deal with Aragorn and Arwen's betrothal and the inevitable consequences of that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All My Shadows Fade

Look at me, Arwen. Your eyes skim away from meeting mine, and have done so for too long. I am your friend, no new acquaintance, and I desire to speak with you.

You have fallen in love. It is not a crime. Truly, what we shared was not love.

No. That is not true.

Yes, it was love, but a different love. The joy of my lips on yours is as nothing when compared to the merest touch of his hand, is it not so? The world of sensations you felt when my hands caressed your breasts pales beside his most careless glance, am I not correct?

If I had not watched you tumble head-over-heels in love with this mortal, this Estel-child, I would demand answers from you. Yet, I have seen your face change and grow pale when you heard the smallest whisper of his name, and I am not one to be jealous.

I will not be jealous of you, Arwen Evenstar, whose fate should have been far higher and more noble. I will trust you even as you break me, and I will let you go.

But Arwen, Arwen, you do not think of what you do. You will die for him! You will die and leave the world forever. You think only of the sacrifice you make, but what of the sacrifice I make? I will never see you again, and I have been given no prize to console me.

The long-years will stretch empty without you, for there is no one, in Valinor or Middle-earth, who I will desire, save you. All our ancient laughter will fade into dust, and my very name will be forgotten. Time will speed on without you in it, and with my heart gone.

Have you forgotten the worlds we conquered when we kissed? How on winter nights we would drive the cold away? Are all these things but children's play to you? Is the touch of a woman so much less than the touch of a man, mortal though he may be?

Time would stretch endless with you beside me, even when we did nothing more than laugh and sing together, our voices mingling. Under the starry night you would kiss me, the worlds would fall into place, and the stars would sing in harmony. You have been so cold of late, and our whispers have faded into memory.

You love him. Surely I should love him as well, for he steals you from me, just when I thought I had caught you! As he takes your immortal life, leeching it out in the name of love, he takes my very heart.

I will not be jealous of your lover, of your beloved. I will not be jealous. My heart only will weep when you leave me to take up the crown of the Queen of Gondor. You deserved titles far higher than that.

Evenstar, fairest of the Elf-kin, hold your friend as her heart breaks. Whisper words of comfort to your once-lover as she weeps.

Do not turn from me, Arwen. When you stare at me as though I were nothing to you, all my shadows fade, and the worlds become grey to my eyes, deeper and darker than the beauty of the light of your eyes.

I hold out my hand to you. I pledge you my deepest promise. I will love you, and I will let you go.

I myself shall seek the Havens, find no comfort in the West, and live out the years of Arda in endless waiting, longing only to see you once again. Do not, when the hour of your death comes, think of me and the worlds you gave up. Go gladly into death, Arwen, and thus fulfill my last wish and desire for you. Live out your brief years in blessedness and love your Estel until your dying day.

Farewell, Arwen, fairest and most beloved of the Elf-kin in Middle-earth. Fare well.


End file.
